Too good to be true?

Has anyone seen a 'Neuro' van prowling the streets? That's to say a white van with a classy-looking shot on the back and sides, of several colourful drinks, each with the pre-fix 'Neuro'? (You might, at first glance, think shampoo or deodorant or something personal care-ish - a tip for the pack designers.) 

Now, having trained as a dietitian and being addicted to all matters neurological (as well as being parched on account of the stinking hot weather), I HAD to know more about this alluring elixir - which promised not only to quench my thirst, but to sort all my other problems too - stress reduction, weight loss, sleep restoration; maybe even sort my aversion to sport (sorely challenged by the recent Olympics).

I was not disappointed. There was even a hint that I might score a 'Neurogasm', should I choose to imbibe, when I clicked through to the 'video' category of the suitably slick website, The video above was one of the ones that greeted me there - a promo video devoted entirely to just one of the drinks - 'NeuroSleep', with melatonin to get you shooting 'z's' at the ceiling before you've even finished counting baa-lamb number three. Check it out - it's nicely done. 

Meanwhile, I'm gonna check out the claims they're making - will a 'satisfying portion of fibre', compliments of NeuroTrim, really control my appetite and help me eat less? Will camomile blended with L-theanine (now there's an amino acid for you) really 'reduce my stress and keep me calm'? Will NeuroSonic, with its caffeine and (there it is again, L-theanine) really 'increase my drive so I can do what I love'? I guess they will - after all, the claims are FDA-approved - the same people who approve all the drugs and stuff in America - and they wouldn't get it wrong now, would they?